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The most important Spore interview in the history of everything ever.

My ladyfriend, who I have discussed at length in previous posts, picked up Spore today.   I haven’t had a chance to play it yet since her computer is the only computer that can run it in our apartment.   So i decided to go straight to the source to get the dish for all my faithful readers.

We used very, very complex technologies to conduct this interview.  Some people know it as AIM, and some people might think it’s weird to AIM someone sitting 2 feet away from you…  but, well, whatever!

Without further ado… (AIM names changed to protect the innocent)

Mort: hi
Thegirlfriend: hello, mr. dood.
Mort: Stop spelling my name wrong!
Thegirlfriend): no
Mort: Plus these people don’t even know my real name, it’s a HUGE secret
Thegirlfriend: well, they still don’t.
Mort: Good point
Mort: Alright then,  A/S/L?
The Girlfriend: really?
Mort: really!
Thegirlfriend: 25/please/two feet away
Mort: hot
Mort: and lol @ 25
Thegirlfriend: eff u
Mort: Ok, so you happened to get Spore today
Thegirlfriend: this is true.
Mort: What are your impressions of it so far?
Thegirlfriend: well, i obviously like it, as you’ve no doubt figured out.
Mort: Indeed, it’s been quite a few hours of really, really strange noises coming from your side of the room
Thegirlfriend: haha, yeah those spore guys are friggin loud.
Mort: I like that they laugh now
Thegirlfriend: i usually turn off sound effects and music in games, but i kind of like these.
Mort: Yeah, i described it as sounding like a “Primordial orgy” to my wow nerds
Thegirlfriend: definitely.  i especially like that each character has their own singing voice and each speices has their own specific dance music.
Mort: that’s pretty cool
Thegirlfriend: in case you didn’t know, singing and dancing are pretty important to the game.
Mort: I didn’t know.
Thegirlfriend: well, now you do.
Mort: indeed!
Mort: Ok, so knowing you as I do, I know you are a fan of Will Wright’s other games, especially The Sims
Mort: How does this compare?
Thegirlfriend: well, i’m not that far into it, but so far it’s as enjoyable, though in a different way than the other sims games.
Thegirlfriend: i mean, with Spore you start off as a cell and go forth from there, creating an entire civilization.  You’re past the whole cell part when you’re playing the sims.
Thegirlfriend: personally, i thought the first stage of Spore, the cell stage, was pretty unneeded.
Mort: Maybe the sims 3 will start inside a woman’s stomach
Thegirlfriend: you basically just float around eating stuff.
Thegirlfriend: haha, we can hope.
Thegirlfriend: maybe it will start a few seconds before that!
Mort: Yeah, that actually reminded me of a game called Flow on the PS3… where that’s the whole point to the game.   i didn’t get into that much but (name removed) came over and got high and loved it
Thegirlfriend: is the name removed because of the getting high?
Mort: Yes
Mort: And no Mom, I don’t do drugs!
Thegirlfriend: you’re a good friend.
Mort: I am a good friend, thanks for pointing that out!
Mort: That’s actually something I wanted to get into a little bit
Mort: You’re a girl, who games from time to time
Thegirlfriend: from time to time.
Mort: with a boyfriend who is obsessive about videogames
Thegirlfriend: one could say that.
Mort: How does that life treat you?
Thegirlfriend: i don’t know how to answer that.
Mort: Good, good.
Mort: Ok, so back to Spore!
Mort: The latest stage you were on
Thegirlfriend: yes
Mort: you said it reminded you of the old warcraft real time strategy games
Thegirlfriend: well, i just enetered the tribal portion of the creature stage.  at the advent of the creature stage (i don’t remember what that was called), i basically just ran around to other tribes and sang and danced and charmed and tried to make allies. now, i’m in charge of a tribe, who has to basically do the same thing.  the reason it reminds me of warcraft, in particular, is because now i have to keep track of everyone in my tribe, which is problematic for me.
Mort: Kind of like having two cats
Thegirlfriend: kind of yes, except i rarely need my cats to go and gather fruit.
Mort: But when the day comes that you do, you will be happy to have my gathering skills on your side!
Mort: I command whole armies and shit
Thegirlfriend: i know you do dear.
Mort: Remember when I gathered wood on our trip?  I learned that from Warcraft 2, i was like a peon.
Thegirlfriend: i gathered wood, too!
Mort: You did, until you got attacked
Thegirlfriend: you had to come and save me, yes, but…
Thegirlfriend: the hazards of wearing tights when camping, i suppose.
Mort: Ok, personally I absolutely hate point based scoring in reviews of games, it’s completely arbitrary and pointless.   So, what would you give Spore out of 10?
Thegirlfriend: i seriously hate point based anything, but for the sake of discussion, so far i’d give it a 7.5.  this is taking into account many things, mostly creativity and graphics.  i haven’t gotten very far in the game so the actual game is less on my mind when giving that score.
Thegirlfriend: it looks awesome and i’m looking forward to seeing my creatures all the way to the end.  i added an extra .5 to that score because i don’t have to make them pee and make lunch like in the sims games.
Thegirlfriend: that was difficult to read.
Mort: Yeah, that was my version of the internet’s reaction
Mort: Because, you know, millions of people read this blog every minute
Thegirlfriend: ah.  ❤ internets.
Thegirlfriend: BILLIONS
Mort: Anything below a 9 is a complete and utter failure
Mort: if you are on the internet
Thegirlfriend: well, i’m sure that by the time i’m done, that score will have changed.
Thegirlfriend: and i’m sure that there are people who have brought one creature all the way through the stages who will comment and give a more accurate numerical score.
Mort: Yeah but i don’t get to make out with those people
Thegirlfriend: but a 7.5, in my book is really good.
Mort: Before we go, you are quite the accomplished Scrabulous player, yes?
Thegirlfriend: i hold my own?
Mort: Almost 2000 rated!
Mort: Don’t be bashful!
Mort: You don’t even get points kicking my dumb ass anymore.
Thegirlfriend: ok ok.  i’m frigin awesome.  worship me.
Mort: I would, but I cry inside every time you beat me 450-100
Mort: Alrighty, thanks for your time, darling, wanna watch some Dexter?
Thegirlfriend: you know i do!
Mort: Sweet, see you there and stuff.
Thegirlfriend: adios.
You heard it here first, folks…  Spore is a 7.5 game, which in her world is really, really good.  In fact, I once asked her to rate me out of 10 and I was only a 6.5.  So Spore is a full point better than me.


3 thoughts on “The most important Spore interview in the history of everything ever.

  1. haha. that was awesome mr. dood. very creative.

    Posted by Martyrdom | September 8, 2008, 2:43 pm
  2. Most excellent! AIM reviews are by far my favorite type of review.

    Posted by Gyrolicious | September 9, 2008, 1:50 pm
  3. That was good, game sounds fun. Nice interview

    Posted by Calgar | September 9, 2008, 10:58 pm

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